Saint Mavis (Britain After The Collapse)

The Felicity Kendals

We’re coming to you Mavis With a simple little song
If our government can’t sort it out It’s us must carry on
Though the economy’s in a shit hole This land is still our home
There will always be an England love If we help our very own

Mavis luv, do ya ‘ave any openings
Mavis luv, do they need a seein’ to
What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service We’re out here on the sausage with Fuck-All to do

Mavis you’re our silver lining Through the dark clouds up above
It’s Britain who is callin’ out It’s Britain needs ya luv
See these Bankers
Bloody Wankers
They all got caught off side
Now with some bollocks called austerity we’re paying interest with our lives

Mavis luv, do ya ‘ave any openings
Mavis luv, we can always plug a hole
What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service
We’re out here pickin’ lilies on the rock n’ roll

Mavis luv, do ya need a good plasterin'
Mavis Luv, we’ve got caulking for your crack
What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service
We’re on the fuckin’ sausage taking up the slack

Dear Mavis are you listening
Saint Mavis Are Ya listening
Is anybody listening
Does anybody care
Nick Clegg are ya listenin’
Ed Milliband ya listenin’
Dave Cameron ya listenin’
Is anybody there?

(Whistles)

David, David well of course it’s all beginning to sound a bit Mickey Mouse. He’s the only sort of character you could ever truly relate to so there we are. And here we are. Do you wish to grow up David? It would make a lot of people awfully happy if you did.

You Do!

We’ll fuckin’ get on with it then n’ stop fannyin’ about!
What are you bleedin’ like?

Mavis luv, do ya ‘ave any openings
Mavis Luv, we’d love to mind your gap
What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service This countries gettin’ rogered by it’s own damn crap

(Instrumental)

Mavis luv, do ya ‘ave any openings
Mavis luv, we can always plug a hole
What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service
We’re out here pickin’ lilies on the rock n’ roll

Mavis luv, do ya need a good plasterin'
Mavis Luv, we’ve got caulking for your crack
What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service We’re on the fuckin’ sausage taking up the slack

Mavis luv, do ya ‘ave any openings
Mavis Luv, we’d love to mind your gap
What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service This countries gettin’ rogered by it’s own damn crap