Saint Mavis (Britain After The Collapse) The Felicity Kendals We’re coming to you Mavis With a simple little song If our government can’t sort it out It’s us must carry on Though the economy’s in a shit hole This land is still our home There will always be an England love If we help our very own Mavis luv, do ya ‘ave any openings Mavis luv, do they need a seein’ to What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service We’re out here on the sausage with Fuck-All to do Mavis you’re our silver lining Through the dark clouds up above It’s Britain who is callin’ out It’s Britain needs ya luv See these Bankers Bloody Wankers They all got caught off side Now with some bollocks called austerity we’re paying interest with our lives Mavis luv, do ya ‘ave any openings Mavis luv, we can always plug a hole What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service We’re out here pickin’ lilies on the rock n’ roll Mavis luv, do ya need a good plasterin' Mavis Luv, we’ve got caulking for your crack What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service We’re on the fuckin’ sausage taking up the slack Dear Mavis are you listening Saint Mavis Are Ya listening Is anybody listening Does anybody care Nick Clegg are ya listenin’ Ed Milliband ya listenin’ Dave Cameron ya listenin’ Is anybody there? (Whistles) David, David well of course it’s all beginning to sound a bit Mickey Mouse. He’s the only sort of character you could ever truly relate to so there we are. And here we are. Do you wish to grow up David? It would make a lot of people awfully happy if you did. You Do! We’ll fuckin’ get on with it then n’ stop fannyin’ about! What are you bleedin’ like? Mavis luv, do ya ‘ave any openings Mavis Luv, we’d love to mind your gap What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service This countries gettin’ rogered by it’s own damn crap (Instrumental) Mavis luv, do ya ‘ave any openings Mavis luv, we can always plug a hole What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service We’re out here pickin’ lilies on the rock n’ roll Mavis luv, do ya need a good plasterin' Mavis Luv, we’ve got caulking for your crack What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service We’re on the fuckin’ sausage taking up the slack Mavis luv, do ya ‘ave any openings Mavis Luv, we’d love to mind your gap What qualifies us to ask ya if you need a service This countries gettin’ rogered by it’s own damn crap

Tell Me Lies 
 The Felicity Kendals I don’t know what’s covering you up so tightly right now but Maybe I can grab your string and start to unravel it You can twist my words to mean what they may never mean to me But baby can’t you see that what you see I may not see? Tell me lies everyday But baby hold my hand when you look at me that way And maybe I will understand Grey may look like blue depending on the time and light of day I can change my hue depending on the things you might say This is only human silliness and it may always be this way So say what you will say although you never meant to say it. Tell me lies everyday But baby hold my hand when you look at me that way And maybe I will understand Tell me lies everyday But baby hold my hand when you look at me that way And maybe I will understand Tell me lies everyday now baby Just hold my hand when you're lookin' at me that way And maybe I will under... And maybe I will under... And maybe I will understand

Polly Tischuns 
 The Felicity Kendals Ya bat your beady little eyes at me
 But you wasn't gettin' into my life 
 Had the cheek to brandish lies at me
 But ya wasn’t gettin’ into my life And now you proper Propagandise me
 ‘Bout how I Pertain to your lies. But see, 
 You're just Self aggrandising luv ‘
 Cuz you care Fuck all about my life Ease back Polly
 We all know you're just a show 
 Yes, we know who's bought and paid for
 Ta-Da, you’re bought and paid for My Nan don't trust ya Polly Tischuns
 She said never get in bed with Polly Tischuns
 Though it's right to fuck with Polly Tischuns
 
You'll never get ahead with Polly Tischuns How Exhausting!! 
 
 (Instrumental) 
 Ease back Polly
 We all know you're just a show 
 Yes, we know who's bought and paid for 
 You're so wholly bought and paid for No one starts a war like Polly Tischuns Nor begs the fight like Polly Ticshuns 
 You can be enslaved by Polly Tishuns So why behave for Polly Tishuns? How Exhausting!! 
 (Instrumental) Ease back Polly
 Take a bow let’s end the show 
 ‘Cuz we know who's bought and paid for Yes, our Polly’s bought and paid for!

Shut Your Spyin’ Lyin’ Eyes
 -or- 
The Trans- Atlantic
 Waltz In G The Felicity Kendals
 
 Shut your spyin’ little lyin’ eyes Oh, how they try ta hypnotise But it’s a joke to think I’d ever lionise Your spyin’ lyin’ eyes Shut your spyin’ lyin’ eyes I’m seein’ clear through all you try to disguise! You're thinking’ time will roll on and I’ll get desensitised To your spyin’ lyin’ eyes Oh, I stand up for the good ol days When our privacy had a full guarantee. But these days I’m on guard, and find it hard getting hard Knowing some paid piece of shit’s watching me Ta’ hell with your lyin’ spyin’ eyes Takes a git to think this shit will get legitimatised For it’s the people you’re aiming to criminalise With your spyin’ lyin’ eyes (Instrumental) Oh love, don’t cha just long for them glorious ol days When our privates weren’t exposed to these insane breaches of trust? But beware my dear! Oh yes, they’re recording in here G-Cameron-H-Queer Ahhhhhhh, he’s watching’ us .. Fuck Your lyin’ spyin’ eyes You’re just a hypocrite who never lets their shit get all scrutinised While it’s the people and their commons ya work to criminalise With your spyin’ lyin’ eyes So shut your spyin’ damn lyin’ eyes

You Remain 
 The Felicity Kendals Feelings come, feelings go First you’re high Then you’re feeling low You’re feeling oh so low Good times happen, bad times too You’re the one it seems to happen to Seems to happen to you One thing always stays the same The world flows by and yet You Remain So take it quickly or take it slow Whatever comes know that it will go Yes know that it will go You can always hold on to that game But when the game is finished You Remain Know that you’re here Through pleasure and fear You always see it from here You’re always here So tell yourself that same sad tale Or tell yourself you always seem to fail You always seem to fail Well, sometimes you may loose And sometimes you may gain That will always change, Yet You Remain You Remain You Remain You Remain

Winter Of Our Discontent 
 The Felicity Kendals I never gave a shit 'bout what they say
 Cuz everybody goes to hell in their usual way
 But oh fuckin' Christ
 We're drowning in the "winter of our discontent” 
 I closed my eyes in a good faith effort to compromise
 But my ears still realised
 Twas all just fuckin' lies 
 As the Polly's went... YO HO repeat after us
 This is for your good - your good 
 Common people say - No fuckin' way, Polly shit don't flow that way So cummon - Polly want a cracker - Polly want a cracker Polly your just our bitch you know I never gave a fig - I never gave a fuck
 Cuz everybody's face down in their usual muck
 But oh fuckin' Christ
 How much longer till our "glorious summer”? 
 I closed my eyes thinking I'd enjoy a nice surprise
 Ah surprise surprise
 Twas all a pack of lies 
 As the Polly's went... YO HO yes this is for your good
 So bend over - bend over 
 Common people say - Show a bit more class or you can shove it up your ass Shit, you're already getting shafted by the corporations
 Ain't that enough dick for you? "Perjury, perjury, in the high’st degree Murder, stern murder, in the direst degree; All several sins, all used in each degree, Throng to the bar, crying all, Guilty! guilty!" They tell us, bend over like thy neighbor Work that ground little brother
 Oh I say Lord-a lift my hands up-a off o their plow Till these lyin' days be done
 Yet their deceit keeps rollin' on Polly It's all tits up I know Deceit's become the status quo Winter of Our Discontent Winter of Our Discontent Winter of Our Discontent

The Impersonals
 The Felicity Kendals We’re The impersonals Yes, The Impersonals In theses day’s where it’s hard To fly under the radar And be personal With the Impersonals We’re The Impersonals Calling all Impersonals They’re making us a crime So get off on-line Then put down your personables And go subversable (Instrumental) We’re The Impersonal’s Aiming to get personal These are days of eye spy Where you could be the fall guy For all your personal Interpersonals But The Impersonals Are personably personal Where there’s a lack of respect We are there to object And go submersible Upon your personal

Voices Of The Fallen 
 The Felicity Kendals The voices of the fallen 
 Fell still without a word Upon a barren feudal wasteland 
 Where cries are seldom heard Taken in by sad illusions
 They failed to disobey
 And so fell for their deceiver in a dark uneven way The voices of the fallen
 In the end, to silence fell
 They sung sweet hymns to heaven While being blindly led through hell Blinkered by some ancient promise
 They felt honoured to obey
 And so fell to their deceiver in a dark uneven way (Instrumental) The voices of the fallen 
 Ignored their noble roar
 For ignoble views of righteousness 
 That longed for everlasting war Moulded by the will of mountebanks Their voices fell astray
 To fall for their deceiver in a dark uneven way (Instrumental) And are not you the voice my dear 
 That matters most of all Will you curse the cursed fiction 
 Or to the trickster fall Will you join in common voice, my love
 And expose the shadow-play
 Or fall for your deceiver in a dark uneven way Will you risk the rebels whipping post
 Where the civil disobey
 Or fall for your deceiver... 
 In a dark uneven way

Beautiful Things 
 The Felicity Kendals She knocked me sideways When I wasn’t looking’ Said I’d been ignorin’ what’s been given for free That while I was hustlin’ For love and for money I failed to notice - The beauty of things Ah, beautiful things Beautiful things Beautiful things Beautiful things She caught me driven Caught me driving in shadows Hooked to the notion that nothing’s for free Said I’s running on empty From an insecure future And failing to fill up on - The beauty of things Such beautiful things Beautiful things Beautiful things Beautiful things (Instrumental) Blinded by vision Tongue tied with language Caught red bloody handed exploiting the ‘Free’ Thought we could imagine a great human future But we’re failing to stand up for - Beautiful things Beautiful things Beautiful things Beautiful things Beautiful things

Planet xxxx 
 - A.k.a - Greta's Fixation The Felicity Kendals Gonna save U - Save U tomorrow I know it's urgent
 But we're diggin' our groove So not on today, but surely tomorrow We will heal all our sorrow
 And then my love We'll save U - save U from burning ‘ Course I realise your hurting'
 Ooh, I feel so alone
 Hey, yesterdays gone - but surely tomorrow We will see through our sorrow A'course til then... We’re gonna - Keep on banging' ya dead to rights Till we blot out our last days and nights We'll prick your valley's
 Frack each hole
 Keep on killing for oil whilst spilling our soul A'course you'll B golden - just fine in time
 It's us nutters B withering our own damn vine So I guess - until the morrow - my love We will f@k-Q
 Oh we’ll f@k-Q ... f@k-Q UP (Instrumental) It's the customary life of us people And our customary ordinary lives But when our customs prove inane It's insane to keep them the same
 And let the prickish pride of capitalist dicks F@kin' drill this earth like a f@k-in bitch Must the arrogance of corporate pricks Treat innocence like a bloody bitch? Oh my darlin' - We're f@ck-in ya foolish - 'Course I have to admit it - She's our favorite MILF Nature's a Mother We Love to F@k! She's a MILF more preferable than Nancy! So wait till tomorrow
 And tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in And then perhaps - in time - my love We'll f@k-in get it together
 Will we get it to - f@k-in -gether?
 Oh if we absolutely got ta F@K something up Then let's F@k our f@k-ed up ways - 'Course I've never ever heard of a fast - f@ckin' fix
 For a greedy trough of capitalist dicks
 So I guess - until the morrow - my love We will f@k-Q - Ooh ooh Ooh!
 We will f@k-Q - f@k-Q Up!!
 Yes we'ill f@k-Q - Ooh ooh Ooh
 Ooh Ooh - Tra - La - La - La
 And then perhaps in time, my love we will....

Frailty Thy Name Is Human 
 The Felicity Kendals History, my little tie-dyed doll How long have we been throwing our love at the wall Gnashing and grinding for fairness in kind But the slaughter goes on And we love living blind Love ta bury our heads To war done in the name Pretending inaction absolves all the shame Oh well, they say, it’s only human Frailty thy name is human Present in action, to our present inaction, Comfortably living the hell that I know On a ship that’s sinking down down down Filled with the tide of our glutinous pride It’s taking its toll It’s taking its toll Deepening factions for minor infractions It just how we roll Mate it’s just how we roll Is there any art in eyes of the man Myopically bent on consuming his hand Oh well, they say it’s only human Frailty, thy name is human

The Great Abandon The Felicity Kendals The Dali Lama and the Pope Got on a boat and started to float 'Cross the Med. to the land the Brits called Palestine They thought it would be nice To offer bowls of rice and the Blood of Christ Just to see if they could lend their helping hand Well the natives said: 'Thank you Dalai for the rice now all is fuckin' (Won/ One)! Whoa, Frankie careful with that blood we've spilled enough my son! Till you lads kindly came along Christ, we all felt abandoned By the others By the others Well, have you ever felt abandoned by the others in the room? We've all been abandoned By the others By the others (Instrumental) Never again, we said! Never again... Would we attempt to erase the face of our humanity... again! And yet we draw such stupid lines Like Israel and Palestine Lines that sever tiny heads While they lie sweetly trembling in their beds. But who is the light? Am I the light? Yes I'm the light, I am! I'm the light Yes I'm the light Oh, I am The Great I AM... THAT I AM - You are The Great I AM... THAT I AM - We are The Great I AM... THAT I AM - There's only The Great Abandon, there's no other in the room! What makes us think we are other Than the other? Than th... What makes you think that you’re other than ‘this’? Yes, whoever said you were other Than the other? Than the other

Polly’s Dreadful Cuppa’ The Felicity Kendals Don’t let Polly put the kettle on Don’t ya let her fuckin’ switch it on For Polly’s tea is dreadful And the spotted stains on her pristine cup won’t Out Out Lady be damned Oh Lady Be Damned We’ve tasted Polly’s tea So why must Polly make the tea When her tea’s so bloody dreadful? Please if I may Fred has something to say Please if I may Our Fred has something to say Though his parents named him Chelsea You’ll address him as he’s custom Right Fred? Right said Fred Should you lie back and think of England Jeremy my dear Conceive of her backwards Jeremy my dear Where her cakes are self-fulfilling And her buns are always thrilling... And the teas not bloody dreadful

Promised Land 
 The Felicity Kendals Darlin' can you see the darkness that's fallen Time to pack your bags the future is calling you Darlin' if you hear the sound of my voice Then reach out my love there's another choice for you Cuz this entire bloody world is headed for a breakdown Gonna get you outta here before it shakes down Yes, I will take you away Oh I will take you away Just hold my hand And together we shall find The Promised Land Time to dull the sharpness of your melancholy Grinding on that axe ain't nothing' but folly - Oh! Come on grab your coat ya know when it's raining Time to leave the place that leaves you complaining - Oh! Cuz this entire bloody world is headed for a breakdown Gonna get you outta here before it shakes down Yes, I will take you away Oh I, I'm gonna take you away Just hold my hand And together we shall find The Promised Land It's time for life to fill you To thrill you, my love As this world descends into fuckin' madness There'll be crazy days and fits of sadness But not for you my love... No, not for you my love! (Instrumental) My love My love Reach out to me - Reach out for me My love Cuz this entire bloody world is headed for a shakedown Gonna get you outta here before it breaks down Yes, I will take you away Oh I, I'm gonna take you away Just hold my hand And together we shall find Together we shall find Together we shall find The Promised Land * Just hold my hand and I'll take you there before this world goes to hell!

Why Should It? 
 The Felicity Kendals Why should it all mean something If it means nothing at all? For if it all meant something Then it would mean nothing at all. You really think you’re something Knowing one day that everything must fall And though you had the Brazil’s to finally raise the question, No one gives a shit who’s asking.

You’re Awright My Son 
The Felicity Kendals Something in the way she moves can feel quite scary
 But look into the mirror
 You’re extraordinary In this ordinary madness
 That leaves one overwrought and overrun Pull out your thumb
 An’ take her for a spin and have some fun. Oh yes go on -
 ‘Cuz - You’re Awright My Son! Been working for the man With such a strange devotion Hoping against hope there’ll be some grand promotion But life keeps casually slipping by And no high seems to satisfy, I know The Clock Ticks On
 And you’re wishing that this ‘Daily Grind’ was done Just cut and run -
 You’ll be Awright My Son! Yes, times will come
When you’re staring down the barrel of a gun Keep you’re Alans on -
 You’ll be Awright My Son! Oh yes go on -
 ‘Cuz - You’re Awright My Son!

To The Matter - 
A Contemplation In At Least 9 Movements The Felicity Kendals 
Cummon if it really matters
 Then let’s raise our glass and drink to the matter. And for those to whom ‘Things’ truly matter Then let’s raise our glass - to the glass… wot matters I got ta suckin’ on yesterday’s lollypops and clacking my fat conkers When I heard the news
 That you finally mattered to somebody special and that I 
I played the fool. To think that you’d matter at all?
 Oh honestly, who would’ve thought ‘You’ could matter!? Oh how I played the fool
 To think that ‘bout ‘You’! But Christ can’t you see 
It wasn’t just me?
 No it’s never just me
 When you don’t feel you are me “Hey You! Yes you, that funny looking little fella in that culture over there! You, suckin’ off the hind tit of the world and dragging us down with your fuckin’ dreams and aspirations.... YOU MATTER NOT!! Everything’s alright yes?.... Everything’s alright, yeah. 
And the Nobel for peace goes to - DR. PEPPER SPRAY Everything’s alright.... Yes, everything’s alright, yeah? 10-9-8-7-6-5-4-3-2-1 - BOOM! What Keeps you thinkin’ and thinkin’ everything’s alright, yeah? 
One more body count - One more body count DOES THIS BODY COUNT!? If everything’s alright then everything’s alright - Yes? (Instrumental) Aren’t ‘I’ at the heart of the matter? And do you think it matters 
To them wot matters 
When the matter of their loved one - splatters? And more to the matter 
Was there hope this song would matter
 And it’s matter it would shatter through The very thought of you? Well, think again my friends
 Though, if you think again my friends, 
I fear our Maddening Mental Muddles are never going to end. (Shit) ‘Course when it’s time to drown our books 
Five Fathoms Down 
Where that space between our ears gets freed from Light and sound Who could’ve thought it would matter anyway? Ah, anyway...
I’m drinking anyway! 
Let’s buy another round anyway!
 My Sweet - Anyway - xx